I was a little surprised at how hard Mother's Day was this year. I don't know if it makes sense to others who haven't lost a child, but I know other mothers that have lost children and I think they went through similar emotions as me this day.
It is hard to explain. First it is a day of recognition for mothers. To me it felt like it a blaring reminder that many people do not acknowledge that I am a mother to my boys. I think that stems from the fact that some people feel that stillborn children are not acknowledged as your child. How they can think that is beyond me. Then the second thing that stuck out that was hard for me is that I do know I am their mother and they are not with me. It felt like a brutal reminder of our separation. It sort of opened up the wounds of grief I have that they are not with me.
Thankfully I had a few sweet sisters in my ward who realized this was going to be a hard day for me. They were kind and asked how I was doing. I was grateful for their support and love. Then of course I should mention Trent. He was sweet and went over the top to make sure it was a good day for me. The most import thing he did though was remind me that Jordan and Zion are my sons and I am their mother. Here is the darling card he made for me. He drew Jordan and Zion in heaven saying, "We love you!"
There is a lot of symbolism in this card too. The birds often remind me of the boys. It comes from the connection I have with Jordan and the book "Are You My Mother?" Sometimes I feel as if the boys send a bird or two for me when I need to feel their love. They are a reminder that they are there and thinking about me. Then there is a turtle and a dinosaur near the bottom. Dinosaurs remind us of Jordan. We buried him with a small little dinosaur. Turtles remind us of Zion, he was buried with a little turtle music box stuffed animal. Anyway, there was a lot of meaning that came through this card and it really helped me love and appreciate Trent. He is amazing and knew just what I needed.
I also experienced a sweet tender mercy that day. Trent came to Relief Society holding two small carnation bouquets. He said they had extra's so he got me two of them. I don't think he through twice about it, but in my heart I felt as though Jordan and Zion were saying, "We love you mom." A bouquet from each one of them.
Trent also made me a yummy blueberry french toast casserole for breakfast. I felt loved! This man sure knows how to cook!
It is hard to explain. First it is a day of recognition for mothers. To me it felt like it a blaring reminder that many people do not acknowledge that I am a mother to my boys. I think that stems from the fact that some people feel that stillborn children are not acknowledged as your child. How they can think that is beyond me. Then the second thing that stuck out that was hard for me is that I do know I am their mother and they are not with me. It felt like a brutal reminder of our separation. It sort of opened up the wounds of grief I have that they are not with me.
Thankfully I had a few sweet sisters in my ward who realized this was going to be a hard day for me. They were kind and asked how I was doing. I was grateful for their support and love. Then of course I should mention Trent. He was sweet and went over the top to make sure it was a good day for me. The most import thing he did though was remind me that Jordan and Zion are my sons and I am their mother. Here is the darling card he made for me. He drew Jordan and Zion in heaven saying, "We love you!"
There is a lot of symbolism in this card too. The birds often remind me of the boys. It comes from the connection I have with Jordan and the book "Are You My Mother?" Sometimes I feel as if the boys send a bird or two for me when I need to feel their love. They are a reminder that they are there and thinking about me. Then there is a turtle and a dinosaur near the bottom. Dinosaurs remind us of Jordan. We buried him with a small little dinosaur. Turtles remind us of Zion, he was buried with a little turtle music box stuffed animal. Anyway, there was a lot of meaning that came through this card and it really helped me love and appreciate Trent. He is amazing and knew just what I needed.
I also experienced a sweet tender mercy that day. Trent came to Relief Society holding two small carnation bouquets. He said they had extra's so he got me two of them. I don't think he through twice about it, but in my heart I felt as though Jordan and Zion were saying, "We love you mom." A bouquet from each one of them.
Trent also made me a yummy blueberry french toast casserole for breakfast. I felt loved! This man sure knows how to cook!
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